Value Chain Terms

Engineering / Development – a.k.a., Hobbyists or technology garage guys. The gear heads who want to build all the cool stuff, despite the fact that sometimes the market doesn’t call for it. Never mind that we can’t make money at it, it’s still too cool not to build. Just like Alaska’s bridge to nowhere...

Manufacturing / Operations – a.k.a., Woops…. As in, woops, we failed to deliver. On most anything in a timely manner. These are the folks who are so tight (cost control oriented) you can stuff a lump of coal up ‘em and have a diamond in 10 days. They’re well meaning, but their business vision typically does not extend beyond their keyboard. Can you say myopic? We might make money if we could deliver it, but hey… we might have to spend a dime to do it. Not happening.

Marketing – a.k.a., The 5 Dumbest People in the Company. My airline friend coined this term. These are the peeps with grand ideas but absolutely no clue about the technical, operational, or practical realities of delivering a product or service. But they are a happy lot! Then again, ignorance is bliss.

Professional Services – a.k.a., Revenue Prevention. If anybody can conjure up a sales inhibitor, professional services can name 7 ways to get the job done. You can install it and use it, but it ain’t supported. In other words, if something goes wrong, you’re basically a test pilot. But if we support it, we’ll have to do something. That’s un-American. Besides, if we did then you’d lose the thrill of being the Chuck Yeager of high tech.

Sales – a.k.a., Wine-alots. If the deal doesn’t do itself, it’s not getting done because it would impinge upon the golf game. You know, the only point in time where talking about someone’s handicap isn’t considered impolite? If there’s huge money in it, and the sales guy doesn’t have to do anything, he’ll think about getting involved in the deal. Otherwise, you’ll hear about it. That’s what the SE, product management, sales support, tech support, engineering, and management are for. The rep just introduces ‘em all to the customer and lets it ride. That’s how they roll.

Finance – a.k.a., Bean counters. This one is pretty well understood. For all those who failed calculus in college, but managed to get the right digits into the correct columns, this is where it’s at. Finance will provide grand numbers, but really doesn’t know what they mean to the business. They generate some pretty groovy graphs and charts, though!

Legal – a.k.a. The road to hell and good intentions. Lawyers have ‘em – good intentions that is, but they’re the reason most of us know not only what the road to hell looks like, but all the detours, rest stops, gas stations, and tourist traps along the way, too. And to make the trip interesting, the lawyers take away our GPS so the ride takes longer. Nothing like dragging out the suspense when you know you’re going to hell anyhow.

Management – a.k.a., The Albatross Gang. You know ‘em, the birds who fly in unexpectedly, raise a ruckus, dump all over, then fly off leaving others to clean up the mess? These folks are the reason “The Peter Principal” was dreamed up in the first place. For management, powerpoint slides ARE strategy. The rest is irrelevant.

Product Manager – a.k.a., The idiot… as in the dolt attempting to provide some level of adult supervision to this value chain mess in order that maybe, just maybe, the product and business will make a little coin. Good luck!

Disclaimer - a.k.a., The fine print. The characterizations drawn here are the result of a long day of product managing and not intended to be truthful or accurately portray people actually holding any of these positions. But if they do.... any parallels or perceived similarities are merely coincidental.